My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
