Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
