You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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