I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
