filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
