I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
