i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
