Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
