I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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