Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
4 words: hood of his car
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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