Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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