Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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