I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
BRING THE BAGELS
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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