I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
it hurts more in the daytime
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
