i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Still dying that you shit outside
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
