don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
please come you make the beer taste better
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
