no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
