What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
