you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
