Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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