He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
