Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
