i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
4 words: hood of his car
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
