I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
