Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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