HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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