I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
