aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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