Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
