I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
