He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
