I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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