if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
