I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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