HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
