found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I just gargled with NyQuil
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
