May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
