The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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