May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
