I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
