Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
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