This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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