come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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