I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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