his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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