I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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