no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
