Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
