found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Randomize
