Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
