What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
